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In the rapidly moving world, I’ve come to realize that I’m not doing as well as I’d like in maintaining connections with a broad spectrum of individuals in my life. This group is quite varied, including relatives I don’t see often, colleagues from previous jobs, and peers from different stages of my life.
There are several reasons why these connections might have naturally drifted apart over time. It’s not something I’ve done consciously, but rather a result of various circumstances. Some of these reasons might seem unimportant on the surface, while others are more significant and deeply rooted. It’s a complex issue that I’m trying to navigate, as I understand the value of these connections in our lives. Therefore, it’s an area I’m looking to improve in, despite the challenges it presents.
One of my core beliefs, or hypotheses, is that “People are busy and they don’t have much time for me”. There are a handful of exceptions to this rule, around 3-4 individuals (including my parents), who I believe would always make time for me.
The above frame from one of my all-time favourite sitcoms Frasier captures how I feel the other person would react after receiving my call/message.
This belief has its advantages. It respects others’ time and schedules. In the professional context, this is one of the reasons why I seldom call colleagues directly. Instead, I prefer to message them or schedule a call when a discussion is necessary.
This explains the “People are busy” part of the hypothesis. As for the “they don’t have much time for me” part, it’s a reflection of the reality that everyone is grappling with their own challenges, dealing with their own sh*t. They may not have much time to spare. However, I believe that most people would be pleased to hear from an old acquaintance, once in a while.
One of my primary concerns is the prospect of engaging in small talk. I’ve written previously about my preference for comfortable silence over forced conversation and small talk. I worry that attempts to stay in touch through messages might devolve into small meaningless talk.
The adage “Out of sight, out of mind” holds true. But an occasional “Hi, how are you?” shouldn’t be bothersome to old acquaintances. The challenge then becomes avoiding small talk. In such cases, a call might be a more suitable medium for meaningful conversation.
In conclusion, maintaining connections is a delicate art. It requires a balance of respect for others’ time and the courage to reach out. Even though the dread of awkward chit-chat and the thought that everyone’s too swamped can be off-putting, the sheer thrill of catching up with old acquaintances makes it all worth the hustle.
Did you like this post? Share it with an old acquaintance and get in touch with them!