Arranged Marriages & Team Mergers

Ramblings on recruitment and relationships

Generated by DALL - E

In India, we largely have two types of marriages based on how the bride and groom meet. If they meet through some common friend or random events (school, college, office, common hobbies, etc.), it is mostly termed as a “Love Marriage.” If the families of the bride and groom initiate the talks, then it is an “Arranged Marriage.” This is an old convention that most of us grew up familiar with. While there are nuances, let’s not dive into them for now. The main difference lies in how the couple meets: if the parents or families have arranged it, it’s an “Arranged Marriage.” Otherwise, it’s a “Love Marriage.”

“Love Marriages” and hiring have some striking similarities. You first start seeing other people if you like them. Similarly, for hiring, you interview different candidates if their CVs catch your attention. If you like the other person, you enter a courtship period. If the interview goes well and the hiring manager thinks the candidate is a good fit, the candidate gets hired. Initially, there’s a probation period. If all goes well, the position becomes permanent. Similarly, if the courtship period goes well, it often leads to marriage.

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Even in hiring, the early days mirror the excitement of a new relationship. You’re not just assessing skills; you’re gauging fit—how well this candidate will align with the team’s culture, values, and long-term goals. It’s not unlike two individuals exploring shared interests, communication styles, and future aspirations in a relationship. Sometimes, you find your ideal match; other times, despite the effort, it just doesn’t click, and you move on.

“Arranged Marriages,” on the other hand, share similarities with team mergers in an organization. People often choose arranged marriage for various reasons, but primarily because they feel ready and there’s no one immediately “available” to share their life with. When entering this kind of union, there’s usually an expectation that both partners will be better off together, with something to offer in the partnership.

For example, in an arranged marriage, families often look for compatibility markers—shared cultural backgrounds, similar goals, or even financial stability. Companies do something similar when merging teams: they analyze skill sets, overlapping objectives, and the potential for collaboration. It’s a calculated approach, relying less on serendipity and more on structured decisions. And just like in marriages, there’s always a degree of uncertainty. Will the union thrive, or will it unravel under pressure?

Corporates usually merge teams when they identify some “synergy” (seriously, I hate this term). The idea is that two teams working closely under one umbrella can produce better results collectively. At the very least, there’s an assumption of compatibility, with each team complementing the other.

However, much like in marriages, achieving this compatibility isn’t automatic. Teams often have different working styles, priorities, or even leadership philosophies. Without addressing these differences early, the so-called “synergy” can become a source of friction rather than collaboration.

Apart from one of the parties cheating, another common reason many “arranged” marriages fail is that one or both individuals weren’t particularly eager to join the union from the start. They were pushed into it by circumstances or family pressure. (Strictly anecdotal—I haven’t done additional research.)

The same thing can happen with team mergers. If the teams aren’t keen to work together from the beginning and have been merged by the company (like the parents) due to “synergy,” the result often resembles a loveless marriage. In the end, the entire exercise can prove futile and backfire badly.

One important question: can such unions—whether marriages or team mergers—be salvaged? Often, the answer lies in open communication and mutual respect. Teams (or couples) that take the time to align their goals and address underlying tensions early on can still find a way to work together. But if either party feels unheard or undervalued, the relationship’s foundation becomes shaky. It’s a delicate balance, one that requires effort and intent from all sides.

The answer might sound like a cliche, but it is what it is.

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